the connection -jeff shepard

                  the wife and i
                  don't fuck anymore,

                  we masturbate.

                  she to her romance novels,
                  me to my internet porn.

                  sex is different than love.

                  we still hug.

I Haven't Started Drinking Yet -James Babbs

what the hell do I know about love
I’ve been wearing the same pair of socks
for the past three days and
I haven’t bothered to shave
for over a week now
but it doesn’t matter
because
I never go anywhere
I just stay at home
shuffling from room to room
it’s after five o’clock and
I haven’t started drinking yet
maybe
I should open a bottle of wine
or mix myself a tall glass
full of whiskey and Coke
I realize
the world’s filled with
beautiful women and
I don’t know
what any of them want

SIDNEY BECHET MEETS JERRY LEE LEWIS IN NEW ORLEANS -Russell Streur

Pretty boys from Texas

Wearing brand new tees

Are dancing up a storm

With the Sidon girls

At the Opera House tonight

And Sidney’s on the corner

Rue Toulouse and Bourbon Street

Eyes alight

Clarinet to his lips

Preaching to the choir

With spodee odee on his breath

Right before the solo

First comes flood

Good Book says

Page 33

Then comes fire

When the Killer drives up

On the road to Tyre

Towing a piano

From a big fin Cadillac

Wine Wine Wine

Elderberry

Wine Wine Wine

Blackberry

And New Orleans is a woman

So they say

Moonlight, tide and mystery

That Creole girl in cool Monet

The one that got away

And you won’t find her

In the Quarter anymore

She’s in Houston now or Jersey

And she is never coming back

Fact is, all in blue:

Hey Jerry Lee

Pass that bottle to me.

Garbage Pail Gail -Chris Butler

 

was the whorish whore

for the aborted treasures

of others,

 

who threw her last baby away,

 

yet she kept her precious

collected keepsakes safe

inside herself.

 

She had become cluster

fucked by the overwhelming

clutter of depression- era

newspapers molding in the

fruit cellar, covering the

taxidermy statues of feral

felines, plastic artifacts

classified as knick-knacks,

and her vacuum sealed

soul, littered and archived

across the condemned

flea market.

 

When the frayed

leftover copper wire

twist-tied to faulty

electrical sockets

sparked over the

desiccated stacks

of trash,

combusting a world’s

worth of stuff into

possessive flames,

 

she attempted to

prolong her belongings,

 

but she could not be saved. 

What to do when life kicks you in the teeth -Melanie Browne

 

you better know some karate, a little

Taekwondo, maybe now would be a good time

to break out the brass knuckles you bought

for Halloween last year. Yeah, that's exactly

what I'm saying. It's time to get all up in life's

business. Its Time to get fight-club on Life's ass.

Life's not messing around. Life isn't tip-toe-ing 

through the tulips with Tiny Tim. Life isn't 

welcoming you to the God dammed Lollipop Guild.

Life has come to kick your teeth in, literally. 

Those crowns you worked two jobs to pay for.

You can stand there with your man bag and

your cappuccino and a stupefied look on your face,

life doesn't care. Life wants to repo your soul.

You're behind on three payments and theres a 

big fat transvestite waiting for your damn keys.

Life has the upper hand, psychologically. While

You've been pigging out on pizza, watching HBO

life has been plotting, skippping rope, & doing chin ups.

Life is on the cover of a prestigious men's magazine

wearing silky boxers with his head tossed back in laughter.

Trust me, Life will kick you in the teeth. And his hair

will be thicker and more lustrous than yours while

he's doing it.

location location location - jeff shepard

                  they opened a new restaurant here in beaver, ut.
                  no one wants to eat there.

                  someone said the owner/chef
                 "ain't from around these parts,
                  he's gay,
                  has aids,
                  what if he cuts his finger while he's making you a sandwich"?

                  rumors fly,
                  he should have done his research.

                  to think he could stay in business
                  in this homophobic mormon town
                  he must be a dunce as well.

                  they didn't name this town "beaver" for nothing.

got arrested for public intox instead -Justin Hyde

when i was seventeen

dad drove me to a bicycle race

in illinois.

mom must have set it up

because he and i together

was not

normal protocol.

i ended up winning

and there he was

taking pictures.

i’ll never forget

his knee high socks

and cut off jeans

leaning over the curb

with the camera.

six years later

drunk off my ass

at a strip club in davenport

for my best friend's

bachelor party

one of those places

where you bring your own cooler

and fold dollar bills

like tents.

i don't know why

but being there

made me want to call dad

and tell him

i remembered that day.

how it was important to me.

someone gave me their cell

the bathroom stall didn’t have a door

so i huddled in the corner

and started dialing

when i remembered

he was supposed to be the one

eventually

making a call like this.

how i was going to hang up on him

when he did.